NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
