i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
