you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
