Will you blow on my dice?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
