Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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