So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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