have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The adults are the big ones right?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize