Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
