Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
