Where is the hickey?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
