How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Can I color on your dick again?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize