yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
