dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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