Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
