look no pants
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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