filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
