the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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