i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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