'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
