is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
So. Much. Porn.
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