I wanna bring you to show and tell
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
