i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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