Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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