Your tits are I can't wait for
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
only if we run a train.
done.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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