My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
