i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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