People in love make me want to vomit
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
