Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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