All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
