"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
only you would photoshop your dick
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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