1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
