whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
