Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
