You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize