Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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