I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She even gives head with a lisp.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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