you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
