Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Who wears a wallet chain?!

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(808): View more from Hawaii

It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.

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(817): View more from Texas

My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.

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(720): View more from Colorado

You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now

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(805): View more from California

We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"

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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?

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