It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
