I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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