allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he puts the penis in happiness.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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