Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
