If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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