wrigley field is MILF paradise
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We are two peas in an std pod
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
