Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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