I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize