brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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