Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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