Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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