if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
