yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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