I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
