Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.

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(310): View more from California

Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.

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(239): View more from Florida

i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass

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(318): View more from Louisiana

We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done

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(302): View more from Delaware

Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover

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