k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
