i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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