Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
