it hurts more in the daytime
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize