Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize