I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
