I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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