This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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