dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
only you would photoshop your dick
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
