I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
