Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
