I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
